Today, I cheated. But in an innocent way and I was desperate, so I don’t feel guilty. I also cleaned a lot of bat poo off the roof terrace. Oh, and I sang Hare Krishna in a singing circle.
6:20am Made it up for meditation. I feel holy already. Not so much five minutes later when I’m sat inhaling the incense as I’ve sat too close. Spend the meditation hallucinating about the pulled pork sandwich from The Grill at Brixton Village in London.
7am Back to bed. Looks like they’ve turned the Wi-Fi off. I was as upset as the cat.
7:20am Now I’m thinking about the homemade granola and locally produced yogurt from the Surf House. Even that would do. Ravenous.
7:45am Yoga sesh. I am a long lean downward dog machine.
8:45am Absolutely ravenous. Can’t face the spinach, banana and arbitrary veggies smoothie.
9am Manage about a cm. Just can’t do it. It’s the texture. Think tomorrow I should get a bowl and spoon. Casually leave it on the side when I go to the ‘Workflow’ meeting.
9:30am Have to clean all the bat poo off the roof terrace. So hungry. SO much poo. Why do the bats get to eat and not me? Need to get food. Bat shit crazy.
10am I’ve run away. I’ve gone. I’m going to the health food shop. Paranoid someone will see me. Make it undetected. Don’t want to cheat, just want to eat. I go for fresh orange juice. Need more. Get some soy yogurt and organic granola. Scoff it in about two minutes. Can feel the energy flowing through my body. Skulk back.
11am Group circle singing ceremony. Sit opposite possibly the most radiant woman in the world. Don’t think I’ve ever described anyone as that before. She led the singing while her husband played guitar. They crack out Hare Krishna. Now I understand what the orange robed people Hare Krishna-ing their way down Oxford Street were up to. I join in. With heart. If my friends could see me now…
1pm Lunch time. So glad I went out earlier. Nice lunch though. Get as much avocado in as possible. Read in my new raw food book that it has more ingestable protein than a steak.
3pm Go to Puerto Escondido on the bus. Hectic and grim. Come straight back again. Definitely not what I expected. I need the safety of The Sanctuary. Feel institutionalised.
5pm Get asked to do The Sanctuary washing. Decide they wouldn’t notice if I put two bits of my own in, despite that being against the rules. Do it. Feel guilty. Washing machine doesn’t sound like it should. Paranoid. Have to open it to take mine out. Might’ve broke washing machine. Neither mum nor ex-boyfriend would let me near washing machine at home. Wash mine through in the sink and peg them out. That’s against the rules too. Sure any god up there wouldn’t let such a holy house have a broken washing machine.
7pm I was right. Other washing went through fine. All good thanks to the God of washing machines.
7:15pm Do a talk on Day of the Dead festival. Think I’ve found some new recruits for next year.
8pm Don’t eat any dinner. There’s only one thing less inspiring than salad, and that’s two-day old leftover salad.
10pm Meant to go to salsa. Everyone bails. Happy. Not a salsa fan.
11pm Oo look how late I’m awake! Get caught up with a chat about raw food. One lady here is a chef. Sounds like she can make some tasty scram. Look forward to trying it tomorrow.
11:30pm Fall asleep straight away. It’s silent. Who let the dogs out?