We arrived in Brighton after taking train from London Victoria to Hove, just up the road from Brighton City Centre. We were in Brighton for my friend’s hen do, and wanted a fun weekend that her mum and our pregnant friend would enjoy.
We walked 10 minutes through Hove past all the shops and cute cafes to drop off the bags at Smart Sea View Brighton and wait for the other girls. I’d booked two doubles and a triple private room – we ended up with two, four-bed bunks – though they did have a private bathroom. Little bit scared of what my friend’s mum would say, but I couldn’t find anywhere else in Brighton that would take us for just one night. The hostel was just a 2-minute walk from the beach and she seemed fine about it.
After much faffing and waiting for people to arrive it was 3ish by the time we got there and everyone was starving. We had lunch booked for 7, so didn’t want to eat too much. There was a fair going on with outdoor burger vans, so we just got some chips and sat on the beach scoffing.
Before long people wanted to start getting ready for the evening so it was an easy walk back to the hostel for some, while the rest of us sat on the beach drinking Kronenberg.
Big night out in Brighton
We got a taxi into town, it was about £6 and took about 10 mins. We had a reservation at the House Restaurant in The Lanes next door to Dermot O’Leary’s Fishy Fishy Restaurant. I had the fish pie. It was incredible and cooked to perfection. We started with some little bits of garlic bread and anchovies which were also deelish. Nothing bad to say about the restaurant. We had 2 bottles of wine, 7 mains, 7 desserts and some nibbles, and it came in at £30 each.
After this we had a space booked at Koba Wine Bar – completely pretentious with no atmosphere. We stayed for 2 cocktails, which were alright but cost £7 each.
I had… Dark ‘N’ Stormy – Gosling’s Black Seal Rum, fresh lime juice & a touch of sugar are shaken then served tall over ice & topped with ginger beer and Jamaican Mojito – Koko Kanu Coconut Rum, fresh lime & mint are muddled with coconut syrup & topped with lots of crushed ice & a splash of soda.
COOL IDEA: book a private nude life drawing class for your Brighton hen party.
Ninety minutes of drinks and drawing – sounds fun!
Uh oo, it went a bit wrong
We’d booked an area thinking it was a bar that you’d spend all night in. Turns out it’s not. The place was empty by 11. So we were pretty stuck on where to go next. The sister-in-love of the bride recommended the Funky Fish Club. So off we went, another taxi journey and £6 to get in – after making it past the disgusting power-trip bouncers.
Funky Fish Club in Brighton is without a doubt one of the worst clubs I’ve been to IN MY LIFE. It was filthy and full of middle-aged desperados looking for some rough and tumble on the beach. I was on a hen night, I was prepared to put up with a bit of filth, but this place just pushed all boundaries. We tried to enjoy it, for the bride. But after one drink and a bit of a dance to the stuck-in-the-80s-and-not-the-good-80s music, we went. Everyone was spent out and full from cocktails and fishy treats, so we went home.
A lazy Sunday’s entertainment in Brighton
Going home early was a good move, we were up and ready for the sunshine Brighton had for us on the Sunday. We saw little doggies everywhere, kids having fun, people of all ages scoffing ice cream and most of all people just enjoying being outside.
We stopped at the bandstand for a breakfast of eggs, croissants and coffee; it was a stunning view looking out to the blue sea.
We hit up the arcades with the bride winning the jackpot on the sweets machine within minutes and me just winning a few 2ps here and there and then we decided to check out the rides…
We went on the Crazy Mouse, which was actually a lot more scary than it looked. You get thrown about in a carriage while being suspended over water and having the slight feeling that the rickety ride could potentially break any second. The bride went on the raging bull and managed to achieve about 10 seconds, then we all went on the log flume and got wet. You paid £30 for 40 and most rides were about 4 each.
Anyway, it was time to go back and see the bride’s mum and Mrs Pregnant on the beach where they’d been resting. We had a quick paddle, a bit of a sunbathe and then got the fish and chips in. Next time I go I’m getting the ones from the pier – these were pretty grim – but in the name of having fun, I scoffed them all. Then we slowly made our way back to the train station for home and that was the end of our brilliant Brighton Weekend Adventure!
- London Victoria to Hove Station (just a mile coastal walk from Brighton) train ticket £3.75 return in a 6-person group
- 1 night’s accommodation at Sea View Hostel in a 4-bed dorm £18
- Chips from a chippy van and coke £3
- Kronenberg from shop £2
- 3-course meal with wine at The House Restaurant in The Lanes £30
- 2 delicious cocktails at Karoba £14
- Taxi back to hostel £8
- Entrance to club £5
- Cider in club £4
- Rides £4 each
- Brighton Pier Arcade £2
- Smoothie £4
- Croissant and coffee breakfast £4
- Fish and chips £5
- Total = £103