Why Travelling With Toddlers is Scientifically Worth it – Even if They ‘Don’t Remember’ a Thing
I’ve taken my son to six different countries in his short life – a crazy amount to some people, average to others. If you ask him about these trips, you’ll be lucky to get a titbit or two. But just because he can’t give you a full rundown, doesn’t mean the trips weren’t worth it. Here’s how travelling with your toddler is sure to have a positive effect on their future.
My son is now three and a half – definitely a ‘child’ in age and ability. But as a toddler he had some wonderful adventures. Most radically, Jordan, but also Hungary, and the great British regulars of Spain, Italy, Greece and Portugal (a few times over).
It took me about 20 years to go to as many countries as he did in his first three. Some would (and have) argued, ‘what’s the point?’ – as if asked, he remembers barely any of it.
He doesn’t remember playing with the bedouins in Wadi Rum who called him ‘Prince Rajah’. Or the ladies who fussed relentlessly over his chubby arms on our retreat in Valencia, or even slurping spaghetti in Rome as recently as January this year.
But watching my cherub-faced, dimple-cheeked precious boy confidently climb the steps of the temples at Petra, toddle along the promenade of Playa Blanca in Lanzarote, and excitedly run up, down and around the boat on the Danube in Budapest are etched on my mind.
Travelling with a toddler isn’t easy. In fact it’s wildly unpredictable. But I’ve done it, genuinely loved it, and think if you adjust your expectations, it’s well worth it.
I took Reggie to a mum and baby retreat alone in Valencia when he was six months old. It was hard work. He got his first cold and I found the fear of him hurting himself too much. But I also feel like that trip gave me so much resilience and confidence, that really helped me from then on. I knew if I could do that, I could do anything.
The world is a toddler’s playroom
Between birth and age three, a child’s brain forms more than one million new neural connections every second. That’s the fastest it’ll ever grow. These connections are shaped by experiences – sensory ones, especially. New sights, sounds, languages, tastes and textures all help strengthen neural pathways and shape how a toddler understands the world.
Every time my son walks barefoot on a new surface, hears a different language at a market, or watches a ferry glide across a bay, his brain is lighting up. That’s learning. That’s development. And that’s what you get with travel.
Just because he can’t vocalise his memories doesn’t mean they haven’t affected him. Do you remember every spot you visited and everything you did on past holidays? Or do you just remember how they made you feel?
Routines are great, but travel teaches flexibility
At home, we’ve always had a fairly solid routine. But holidays have been a welcome jolt, and a chance to mix things up a bit.
I’m always grateful to the trip to Lanzarote I did when he was 13 months old. At that point he was still waking multiple times a night and I was deliriously exhausted. In Lanzarote he slept so well every night after such busy days and a later bed time, and so did I. Some mornings, I actually woke up on my own – rather than to his shrill alarm.
That trip showed him, and me, that he could sleep through and was a real turning point in our sleep health.
The all-inclusive buffet there meant he could try a range of food that I didn’t have to make or clear up either. It was such a joy to watch him tuck in, and react.
Only having UHT milk available at 30 months in Rhodes forced us to give up the night feeds. That trip also encouraged us to stop the afternoon naps too, as we all just wanted to be outside.
While forgetting the nappies in Portugal pushed us one step closer to successful night-time toilet training.
Travel just introduces a gentle level of challenge and novelty that helps kids become more adaptable, and parents to accept that they can. Different beds, new kinds of breakfast, and relinquishing control on timings all teach us to cope with change. According to child psychologists, this low-level stress helps build resilience for the future.
Before Reggie was born I just presumed I’d be jetting off all over, but since that wonderful day I haven’t really had the desire, time or money to go long-haul. Staying in Europe has meant shorter flight times and the safety and security of being closer to home.
This has meant I’ve never had to deal with a toddler with jetlag though. Something I plan to try next year!
It’s an opportunity to see life through their eyes
To a toddler, even the smallest things can be extraordinary. For Reggie it’ll be the revolving door, or the lift, or a simple bus ride. Seeing his joy reminds me that the world is full of amazing things, and when you travel you see even more of it. His enthusiasm is catching.
Toddlers are always in the moment, noticing everything we’ve learned to overlook. And when you travel with a toddler, you start to see it too.
You do have to slow down. Pre-Reggie I’d pack the itinerary, and want to see and do everything, but now I appreciate whatever it is we manage to achieve. It was frustrating to start, but then I realised it was freeing. You can just be.
Travelling with toddlers for culture, connection & curiosity
It’s easy to underestimate how much toddlers absorb – just because they can’t say ‘architecture’ doesn’t mean they’re not noticing the shape of the buildings.
Exposure to different cultures, even in simple ways – sharing a meal, hearing a new language, seeing people who look and dress differently – is all proven to contribute to early social and emotional development. Studies show this can make children more empathetic and open-minded later in life.
Reggie definitely has an exceptional interest in different languages. He’s often asking me the Spanish for this or the Italian for that. Is that normal for a three and a half year old?
He knows now that the world is big, and interesting, and full of places that aren’t like home that you travel by plane to get to. That’s a powerful seed to plant.
Don’t let the fear put you off
We’ve made it through a broken buggy on the streets of Thessaloniki, the forgotten suitcase for the Algarve, the searing heat of that first trip to Sardinia, searching Playa den Bossa in Ibiza for large nappies – all low-level challenges that pale into insignificance when I think of the fun memories we created.
I know that even if he doesn’t remember the details, the experiences will be part into who he becomes.
So, no – toddlers won’t remember every trip. But something in their brains will. And so will you. Travelling with toddlers isn’t about ticking off destinations, and trying to see everything. It’s showing them that the world is wide, wonderful and there are different ways of doing things.
Travel with a toddler is also an opportunity for you to do something different. In the early years when day to day is about going from feed to feed, or living nap to nap, a trip to look forward to can be exactly what you need. And a chance to switch off from stresses and chores of home.
Enjoy the early mornings when you travel, the afternoon naps, the unexpected challenges, and know that you may have to experience the world by playgrounds. But a playground in Jordan overlooking Petra is definitely more exciting than the one round the corner at home.