Poo With a View: Up The Shard

Poo with a viewThe best thing about The Shard is the toilets.

If you’re planning on a trip up The Shard save up your number twos to enjoy with incredible views across the whole of London. Sadly, I was not in on this gem of advice prior to scaling the tower but thanks to my pint of cider I was given as part of the dinner and Shard view tour I was on, I was able to enjoy the most scenic wee I’ve possibly ever had.

The windows in each toilet cubicle are huge. When I was up there I had a flashback to the media coverage when The Shard first opened, when the exhibitionists among us apparently enjoyed the opportunity to ‘screw with a view’, if I may put it so crudely. None of that malarkey when my friend and I took some time out to enjoy one of London’s newest attractions. 

Apart from the toilets…

I was invited to try out the dinner and Shard package and I invited my friend along for the ride. After some trouble finding the group which apparently the others hadn’t had (can I suggest just meeting at The Shard?) we caught up with them at The George Inn in Borough. We’d missed the Borough Market Tour, but as we’re Londoners and it was closed it didn’t matter too much.

Poo with a view City Wonders

I’m blummin glad we didn’t miss the pub grub though. Dee-lish. Possibly the best pub chips I’ve had. I went two weeks ago now and I’m still thinking about them. They’d done something to the chips, I can’t put my finger on it, who knows, I don’t want to destroy the magic, but they were just the right amount of mushy and crispy. 

Apart from the chips…

The George Inn is owned by the National Trust and is London’s only remaining galleried coaching inn. It’s a cool building with lots of little sections and rooms to get lost in, and looks out onto a great courtyard where you’ll see London’s finest braving all weathers to enjoy a pint.  

Included in the price of the experience was a drink and the aforementioned chips, along with a good slab of fish. My favourite.

Shard City Wonders

Once that was done and digested we walked round to The Shard, about 10 minutes away. Our tour guide Philip (great guy) told us a few gruesome tales of this area of London from days gone by. Apparently (cue nosy neighbour kind of tone), it used to be the most debauched part of London because anyone who missed the last call at the city gates would have to stay here. Drunks hung out of pubs, prostitutes roamed the streets and the houses were built so close together when it got past the ground floor there was no fresh air for anyone. The place stank. Seeing as it was technically outside of the City of London they didn’t care about cleaning it up either.

City Wonders Shard Tour

Before we knew it we were at The Shard and ready to enter the lifts up to the 68th floor. Just before we did though they decided they wanted to take a photo of my friend and I to super impose onto a photo of The Shard. On exiting we found it was the worst photo either of us had ever seen, and that went for both of us. This one here is much better…

Shard Look out

Good old London, you can count on the rain!

Up the top the weather turned and we were treated to a grim view over London, incredible though nonetheless. Philip pointed out the walkie talkie, the gherkin, and the first building to have its own windmills.

When you’re up at the top of The Shard you’ll see they have magical telescope things that you can use to ‘view’ London as if you were looking at it on a clear night, or in the sun, or in the 20s, 60, or 90s, it’s all very interesting. You can also learn more about the history and building of the shard using the different functionalities.

City Wonders Shard tour

There was a bar up there too, serving Champagne and quite a few people were enjoying a glass. After a long day at work it would’ve been nice to have some seats up there to quaff it back with, but I can only assume they want you in and out.

Poo with a view Shard

Unfortunately the company I went with objected to me talking about a ‘poo with a view’ so I had to take their mention out (sense of humour much?). Just Google ‘dinner and The Shard’ and you’ll be able to find someone to take you on the tour I did. Or, just follow the route yourself, it’ll be much cheaper but of course you won’t have the guide with the background information. Up to you my friend… 

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1 Comment

  1. by Nicole on July 15, 2014  3:04 pm Reply

    I think your readers are thinking it. So, I'm just going to come out and say it: that's quite the poop view.

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