2020: Time to Be Kinder to Yourself

New Year’s resolution time.

I really enjoying hearing people’s answers to the old “any New Years resolutions?” question. Whether they’ve got any hope of sticking to it or not, I just like to know how they’d change their lifestyle, or life course, if they could.

Has anyone actually ever stuck to them? Really?

This year I will. My resolution for 2020 is simple – be kinder, to myself.

Join me?

Me, you, friends

I’m 33. Most of my friends are somewhere around that, give or take a few years. No longer angsty teenagers or anxiety ridden 20-somethings, really, we’re all old enough to know better. Yet, still, some of them, maybe even most of them, are their own worst enemy. Including me.

Road trip Panama City Beach

Friends are hard on themselves for eating, for drinking, for having changing bodies, for having a bit of extra weight AFTER HAVING A BABY, for not earning enough money, for not cooking, for wearing old clothes, new clothes – it’s all kinds of ridiculous. Yet I seem to do it too.

Sometimes I think if I spoke to my friends like I spoke to myself internally I wouldn’t have any left. I really try not to fall into this whole jealousy and comparison thing we seem to have going on as a millennial nation but it’s just too easy.

It’s such an absolutely monumental fucking waste of time to compare yourself and feel sad about it, but I see it online and offline every day.

Let’s just stop.

Action plan for you

Staying at Rondon Ridge

– Ignore the triggers 

Leave groups that make you feel bad about yourself (both online and offline), unfollow people, get off social media, focus on the good stuff you have in life, know what upsets you and don’t let it in.

– STOP thinking that everyone else has it better than you

Sometimes they will do, sometimes they won’t, but just sitting thinking about it isn’t going to help.

I know people who I’d count as way more successful than me, in all the different areas I’d like to be successful in, and d’ya know what? They’re miserable. They’re consumed by jealousy and comparison for the people who they see as above them.

– Get some perspective

Stand back and look at your world as an outsider. Are you really that fat / thin / broke / lonely / etc. Yeah, thought not. When you start falling down a rabbit hole of self pity, pull yourself out. Fast.

– Change your mindset 

Let’s take losing weight. I myself wouldn’t mind a bit of this in my life. Trouble is as soon as I start thinking of ‘losing weight’ it sounds boring AF, and limiting, and depressing. Instead, if I look back to the time I felt fittest this year, it’d be when I was doing the aerial silks class over the summer and going to gym classes a lot. So, I should totally focus on how that made me feel, rather than the thought of running and limiting my food. It just makes sense that that will work a whole lot better.

I’m not ‘trying to lose weight’, I want to feel fit, healthy and strong. Much better mindset.

– If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all 

If ever you look in the mirror and you’re mean, if you create something and you’re negative to yourself, if you try something new and chastise yourself for it not being good enough… STOP. Be kind, be supportive and focus on the positives.

You are you, and you are glorious. 

Happy New Year – hope it’s a great one for you all.

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  1. I think this is The Best resolution anyone can have! I know I definitely need to do some of the above, it’s so easy to get stuck in the loop of stressing, thinking the worst, comparing yourself to everyone else… I know it won’t be easy for me but I’m going to at least try to be kinder to myself, and if (when I slip up) remind myself to say fuck it and try again lol.

    1. It’s weird isn’t it? How mean we are to ourselves, letting negative thoughts in. We’re all alright really. Let’s be kinder to ourselves. Treat ourselves as we want to be treated!

  2. These are the most useful tips for making yourself happy only. I simply loved your ideas and I want to live life like this the way you are heading.

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