How to Avoid Festival Toilets in 5 Simple Ways in 2026
It’s happening. You can’t hold it in any longer and there’s no way to avoid… the dreaded festival toilets. There’s hope! Read on for all my advice on how to cope with peeing at a festival after going to 62 different festivals around the world.
That familiar feeling of a swollen bladder after one too many ciders is 100% more unwelcome than usual when you’re at a festival. As soon as the need to pee (or poo) at a festival kicks in, the horror stories of festival portaloos all come rushing back into your mind.
After admitting defeat to your renal system you approach those banging portaloo doors with much trepidation, fearful of what may lay behind.
Nervously you select one and pull on the repugnant handle, bracing yourself for the stench to fill your nostrils.
If you manage to pull the door ajar without the fumes spinning your mind, you commit to opening it fully.
If the gagging reflex doesn’t kick in, this is the festival toilet for you.
You take a deep breath and step up.
What if I told you there was a way to avoid all this festival toilet rigmarole?
In preparation for the Glastonbury toilets, and with the help of Amazon reviewers, I’ve put together this little guide to show you how you can avoid the toilets at festivals all together…
1. The She Wee
Perhaps the most famous of all the festival toilet avoidance schemes, the She Wee gives ladies all the convenience of having a funnel, which as you guys know, makes the whole toilet process a lot simpler.
Girls, you simply cup the She Wee on your foof… and release.
I tried this when I went to Glastonbury Festival and made a right mess. If you’re going to try it I’d recommend not drinking five ciders, waiting until the last minute and then becoming uncontrollable with laughter as your mate tries to help.
Turns out there’s a lot more wee than expected.
“A life saver. Easy to use and convenient. The wide funnel covers the area well without you having to worry there is going to be a spill. There is no need to assemble anything and it is easy to wash and reuse.”
– Conneal Beswick on Amazon
You could also try the Whiz Freedom Kit bag. It’s made of some magic material that means you don’t have to clean it and it will just dry instantly.
Environmentally this is a better choice for female festival goers than the She Wee as your wee is collected rather than polluting the grounds, but I’m not too sure what you’ll do with the bag of wee when you’re done.
2. Bog in a Bag
When two stools collide hey?
This Bog In A Bag camping stool enables the owner to literally use anywhere they damn well please as a dumping ground. The ‘stool’ is ‘supportive’ and ‘comfortable’.
Simply push a bag through the middle to catch the deposit, sit down, let it all out, tie up your bag, put both stools away and you’re ready to carry on with your festival shenanigans.
Apparently Dawn’s crack loves it on Amazon…
“It is light, it packs away very small, it is sturdy in use and it is a usable loo. We use it for middle of the night/crack of dawn loo visits and it certainly beats a trip across the campsite in the dark.”
– McGoogly on Amazon
Best festival toilets
The toilets at Lake of Stars Festival in Malawi were definitely some of the best festival toilets I’ve been to. The toilets were plumbed in and there was an attendant in there keeping them clean. Even electricity for the ladies to straighten their hair and everything.
Otherwise, it’s got to be VIP. The main benefit of going VIP is to get the nice toilets. Victorious Festival and Primavera were pretty sweet for that very reason.
3. Unisex Portable Urinal
What a nice present for the festival loving couple in your life – a unisex portable urinal.
Feel free to let it all out in this festival toilet alternative and you can simply put the lid back on and store that meaty piss for later disposal at a more convenient time.
If you’re looking for a camping toilet solution that’ll stop you needing to leave your cosy warm tent at night, then this is a great idea. I’d definitely recommend getting one for each member of the family though…
“I took this to reading festival and it was great. Saved me going to the long drop all weekend !!…big enough to hold a big wee. Easy to use. I didn’t have any trouble with lid leaking. Would recommend.”
– Jeanie, on Amazon
Festival toilet roll tip
Put some string through your toilet roll so you can hang it round your neck when you go to the toilet. This means you won’t need to put it down anywhere and you’ll have your hands free. Et voila, you are now a toilet roll dispenser!
4. Kampa Khazi Portable Toilet
This Portable Toilet has a 5-litre capacity – more than enough for one person, surely.
Purchase this little beaut as your camping toilet and you can laugh away at the minions queuing for the festival toilets while you enjoy your leisurely wee. Or you could try The Need-a-Loo for the same idea.
You might want to get a toilet tent around it for even more privacy though, or you may not…
“This is the best portable loo I have ever used, we are a family of 6 and only have 1 toilet in the house so this has become very useful!!!”
– Kerry Harper, on Amazon
5. TravelJohns and TravelJanes Urinal Bags
TravelJohns are my favourite festival toilet / camping toilet option out there.
These little beauts contain Liqsorb, ‘a biodegradable polymer substance that immobilises bacterial growth quickly’. So you just wee into the biodegradable fabric pouch and your urine crystalises as it touches the substance. The TravelJohn urinal bags are reusable. No, I don’t understand either.
Top tip for you, you can fit more than one wee in a TravelJohn once it dries in.
I think Mo was expecting a little too much from them…
“I had a trial run in my bedroom. My poo just sat on top of the ‘crystals’.”
– Mo, on Amazon
Festival toilet essentials
Oo and don’t forget toilet roll, baby wipes and hand sanitiser if you’re going to beat the festival germs and survive the whole festival toilet experience for another year.
FAQ about camping toilets
How do I pee at a festival?
I’ve been to a few festivals where they’d set up a urinal for women, and give out disposable she wees. Good idea for some, including me, but I know some female friends I was with had trouble with stage fright, and not making a mess.
No one wants to be covered in pee at a festival, even if it’s their own.
If you really can’t stand the thought of weeing in festival toilets then try one of the pee bags for festivals I recommend above.
In recent years though, festival toilets really aren’t as bad as you might think.
The biggest problem are the queues, and then needing a wee in the night – which I’d totally recommend buying one of the camping toilets above for.
Do you have any secret festival toilet tips?
Yes! Watch for who comes out of the toilet. If it’s a guy, they’ve probably just done a poo. Don’t go in. If they come out with a grim look on their face, don’t go in.
How bad are the Glastonbury toilets, really?
Ah the Glastonbury toilets really aren’t that bad. Obviously you’re going to get the odd rotter, especially towards the end, but in general, it’s not the worst festival toilet experience ever.
That would be at Reading Festival.
I was 16 and it was my first festival, and I was on my period which was already traumatic enough. Then, people were setting fire to the toilets and knocking them over. It was awful. This was the year 2000 and I like to think that doesn’t happen anymore but, who knows?
What is a long drop toilet?
A long drop toilet is one that doesn’t flush so it’s the most eco friendly. It will generally be perched higher than normal, and all the waste piles on top of the previous waste. Basically, a cess pit.
At some point some sort of machine will come and get rid of it all.
You need to realize that someone (the waste management team) has to eventually handle all of your guys’ bags of mixed piss and shit that overflow and accumulate around trash bins. Your selfish solution causes unnecessary bio Hazards and anunbearably disgusting environment for patrons and staff alike. Use the provides toilets. Shame on you all.
Good and interesting point – thanks for writing!
Good info.
Great idea! Probably a bit cheaper than the ones above too – sure no one would mind lending a bucket for this…Think I’m going to get some of the John bags so my poo can crystalise on top.
Haha! That one really made me laugh. People are fun!
Hahahahaha I don’t think I could cope with any of these! xx
Absolutely love this guide! I’ve also tried a She Wee and the piss got everywhere. Think I’m going to get some of the John bags so my poo can crystalise on top.
Haha. Great idea!
Ha, also loving that review on no.6!
Whenever I go to festivals we have a ‘Piss Tent’. It’s a tall thin tent that we put a bucket in so us girls don’t need to trek all the way to the toilets every time we need a wee.
There’s usually a few arguments when it comes to emptying it though.
Sounds lush. Yes, another good idea for getting away with the dreaded festival toilets. Probably a bit cheaper than the ones above too – sure no one would mind lending a bucket for this…
Ah I laughed at the review on number 6.
Good old Mo, s/he was obviously pleased with the results. Who doesn’t want that to happen?!